Category Archives: Random Nonsense

The Holy Bee’s Double Old-Fashioned Recipe (aka the “Thank Me Later”)

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Fitzgerald: Don’t make them so sweet this time.

Dingy: You want another one? You’ve had two already, can’t you wait until we’re on the ground?

Fitzgerald: What are you talking about? All right, I’ll make the next batch. (To Benjy) You! You take the controls!

Benjy: I don’t know how to fly an airplane!

Fitzgerald: Oh, that’s nonsense, anyone can fly a plane…Now I’m going to make us an old-fashioned the old-fashioned way, the way dear old Dad used to!

Benjy: What if something happens?

Fitzgerald: What could happen to an old-fashioned?

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The Holy Bee doesn’t do things by half-measures…when I write a blog entry, I usually gush 4000 words…when I fix a drink, it’s usually a double.

The perfect unwinding drink is the old-fashioned. Whether you knock one together as soon as you walk in the door after a rough day, or wait until later in the evening as dinner is settling, an old-fashioned can have a magical effect on your mood. Don’t let anyone tell you there’s a “correct” technique. No one likes a bar snob. But I’ve had too many watery, overly-fruit-muddled old-fashioneds in restaurants, so now I only trust myself to fix a good one. Here’s my recipe.

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First of all, get yourself a silicone ice tray, capable of making 2-inch cubes. Use filtered water to make your cubes. The extra-large size will slow melting.

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Again, this is a double, so put two sugar cubes in a double-sized, heavy-bottomed rocks glass. (Some people prefer simple syrup to cut down on graininess, but I rarely have any on hand.)

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Thoroughly coat the cubes in Angostura bitters — accept no substitutes! Don’t be stingy with the bitters, either. Make sure those cubes are doused (8-10 dashes).

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Splash in a small amount (about two tablespoons) of carbonated water or club soda. 

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Squeeze in the juice of ⅛ of a naval orange (or ½ of a small mandarin). Bag and fridge the rest of the orange — it’s good for seven more old-fashioneds.

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Muddle the sugar, bitters, water, and orange juice into a slurry with whatever muddling implement you have handy (I use a small ladle). Work it hard — try to dissolve the sugar as much as possible. You won’t dissolve it all, but that’s OK.

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Swirl the mixture to coat the inside of the glass, and add the big-ass ice cube

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Add two shots (about 3 oz.) of whiskey. The Holy Bee is a rye man, but a Canadian blend such as Crown Royal also works well for a different flavor experience.

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Stir thoroughly!

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Slice your used orange wedge in half to use as the first part of your garnish.

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A toothpick is handy to extract a maraschino cherry from its tight little jar. Luxardo (the “original,” imported from Italy) is highly recommended. Add the cherry, and use the toothpick to drizzle in some of the cherry syrup.

Stir one more time. You can splash in a little more club soda if you want (I usually don’t).

Again, there’s no “right” way (except the Angostura bitters), but I prefer not to mush or muddle the fruit garnish. The juice & syrup are already in there, and you’d just be making it look worse from an aesthetic point of view.

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The result is a smoky, spicy, sipping drink that goes well with elevated slippered feet, and a good book or whatever episode of an acclaimed cable show strikes your fancy. It should last an hour or so with proper care and handling, and it gets mellower, colder, and sweeter as you consume it. Don’t forget the cherry surprise that rewards you at the end.

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The Spirit Is Willing…

p9382_hiresFrom a lofty goal of writing roughly two essays per month, to having nothing new to offer since before the holidays, the Holy Bee of Ephesus has experienced an embarrassing plunge in productivity.

I have lots of ideas for future entries, a few paragraphs already written, but no discipline to realize them yet. Not when there’s Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim to play (yes, I’m more than a year behind the curve on my fantasy video games), two volumes of Game of Thrones to get through before I watch Season Two and Season Three (yes, I’m more than a year behind the curve on my fantasy novel-reading), plus a stack of unread library books that I can only renew so many times, and hours and hours of PGA Tour golf to watch.

Something, however, is bound to show up here eventually…

Keep checking in.

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The Holy Bee of Ephesus has a new home!

Welcome to the new home for my wickedly self-indulgent blog Holy Bee of Ephesus, which has been a Blogspot fixture for the past three years. You’ll get features such as The Holy Bee Recommends, Books of the Holy Bee, the epic ongoing examination of music of the 1990′s This Used To Be My Playground (which runs concurrently on The Institute of Idle Time website), and other random crap. It will all appear here — both new entries and the old stuff. The transfer of the archives was not flawless, so I still have some work to do down in the Vault, correcting images and captions, fixing links, etc. If you want to finally admit to yourself that there’s nothing going on in your life, then there’s a subscription button on the lower left, alerting you via e-mail each time the site is updated. Don’t wait for the Facebook posts (you could miss one, and that’s enough to ruin anyone’s week), get each update while it’s hot and fragrant. C’mon, folks, lower the bar. You can only watch that cat that flushes the toilet on YouTube so many times before you wonder if there’s something even more pointless on the internet. Join the Holy Bee army.

I may keep the Blogspot site open as a “second home,” for those who fear change, but it won’t be forever. The other Holy Bee “second home” was on LiveJournal. I was lured into using LiveJournal by meeting someone who keeps a very literate, well-informed blog on current events there. As it turns out, the person I met was the only living human being who keeps a literate, well-informed blog on LiveJounral. LiveJournal is actually 90% fat, acne-riddled goth girls writing about goth shit, and 10% undecipherable typing by recent Ukrainian immigrants who contribute by tapping lightly on their keyboards with their penises after a long night of huffing nail varnish. Stellar company for some, but not a class act like the Holy Bee of Ephesus. So goodbye, LiveJournal (and Blogspot, eventually), hello WordPress!

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More to come…


The Holy Bee hasn’t forgotten you. It’s just that his work ethic is at a very low simmer between June and August.

Keep the faith & stay tuned…Lots of new things cooking…

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Trumped Again!

So once again, as happened back in October, an issue or concept first raised here in the hallowed halls of the Holy Bee of Ephesus blog has been upstaged by a website with a much wider audience.

Compare this, from November 2010:

http://holybeeofephesus.instituteofidletime.com/2010/11/this-used-to-be-my-playground-part-16.html

With this, datelined January 14, 2011:

http://popwatch.ew.com/2011/01/14/winona-ryder-reality-bites-popwatch-rewind/

And once again, the salt on the wound is that theirs is written much better than mine.

Goddammitsomuch.

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Trumped!

Hey gang,

If you want to read someone doing pretty much the same thing as I am with This Used To Be My Playground, only with far more wit, brevity (obviously), insight and all-around coolness, head over to one of the Holy Bee’s favorite websites The AV Club and check out Steven Hyden’s Whatever Happened To Alternative Nation?

Yes, I was doing something similar first, but…Hydrox cookies came first, and who eats that crap? No, we all eat Oreos.

Just to be clear:
Holy Bee = Hydrox
AV Club = Oreos

Bastard even mentions Urge Overkill in his very first installment. Good God, man, you build to Urge Overkill!

I guess I’m doing it wrong.

Goddammitsomuch…

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What’s up?

Don’t you hate blogs that consist mostly of entries detailing why there hasn’t been an entry? Sorry to do that to you, but I’m getting slammed at work, so, uh…less “idle time.” But I will let you know about the Insitute of Idle Time’s participation in the San Francisco Zine Fest very soon. Promise. In the meantime, here’s a picture of a bunny.

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